Amendments To Live
by Harley Quinn 904
Summary: Tony teaches Ziva the 27 Amendments through his childish antics and crazy high school stories.
1. I, Freedom of RAPPS

The First Amendment.

_I. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievanence_

Simply put: Freedom of Religion, Assembly, Petition, Press and Speech. Or RAPPS.

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><p>"The first Amendment, congress established freedom of...um..." Ziva started to recite from memory, squeezing her eyes shut as she walks through the bullpen. "I just had it this morning." She cried out in frustration as she slid her bag off her shoulder and let it drop to the floor.<p>

"Having troubles Ms. David?" Tony remarked, not looking up from his keyboard. She didn't know how he still could not type properly.

Sighing, she sat down and logged in.

"By the way," Tony's voice interrupted the silence. "You left your necklace here the other day. Not sure why, because you never take that off, but I found it next to Gibbs' desk, and I knew what it meant to you..." Getting up, he shuffled over to her desk, taking a gold chain out of his pocket, and dangling it in front of her.

"Religion." She blurted out. Tony looked at her funny. Ziva turned around and held up her hair while he clasped it around her neck. "The first Amendment. Freedom of Religion."

* * *

><p>Rows and rows of colorful people stood around the pool of the Washington Monument, listening to a man go on about how the economy sucks, and how the president isn't doing his job.<p>

"And I say, that with all of your help, we can over come these hard times-" Ziva tuned the speaker out, and looked for familiar faces in the swarms of people.

"I'll bet there's a cop somewhere out there, just waiting the guy to slip up." Tony chuckled.

She thought for a moment.

"Assembly. Freedom of Assembly." She whispered under her breath.

* * *

><p>Tony flipped page after page on a dirty brown clipboard, scanning it with a blue pen, scratching gel mark after gel mark. "Uhuh." Tony would mumble every so often.<p>

Interrupting her work as he always did, he asked, -This time to nobody in particular- "So how many signitures do you think it would take to get the Director to let us dress however we want?"

"Tony, I do not think that is going to work." Ziva spoke up from behind him, making him jump.

"And why ever not?"

"Because, well, the women already get to wear what we want, for the most part. So you may get only a few signigures from the women. And there are not enough people in the building to have a good argument."

"That's the spirit." Tony cried out, excitedly. "Now sign here." His face went straight.

"I am not going to sign your petition." Ziva told him, earning an Italian frowny face.

Freedom of Petition.

* * *

><p>"Our reporters recently found a couple of bodies in the suburbs of Detroit, Michigan, and local LEO's are all over the case. We talked to a couple of the witnesses who heard the screams and gunshots of-" Tony flung a small pink rubber band at the TV before slapping the remote, shutting off the man's voice.<p>

"Why do they insist on telling the people of _Maryland_ that there are bodies in Michigan. I mean, I personally have nothing against the state, if anything, I'm all for the Detroit Lions, and I'm all for telling the rest of the world what's going on, but if it was meant to show us that the press has no life, going out to the the _suburbs_ of a small-ish town, then congratulations, they've won." Tony ranted on.

Ziva looked at him with an expression of confusion. He apparently had a bad day, because he always seemed interested in that kind of thing.

_Freedom of Press._

* * *

><p>Ziva sat at her desk, as the darkness hovered over her head, which was propped up on her hands, her nose in one of her favorite books.<p>

Tony sat across from her, his fingers typing, -or so it seemed- harshly on the keyboard. Slowly wearing down Ziva's nerve. She put up with the sound of a keyboard dying for about fourty minutes, and that was about all she could bear.

She ground her teeth together, and glued her mouth shut. Hands clenched at her head, face down, trying to find her place in her book. It took all her might not to hurl something at him.

"Die you stupid space troll." Tony blurted out. That drove her over the edge.

She grabbed a pen, and threw it at him with all the power she could spare, letting out a squeel as she did. "Tony, will you be quiet." She demanded of him

"Nope," He stubbornly said.

She got up, and walked over to his desk, following a black cord behind his computer to an outlet. In one fluid motion, she pulled it out of its plug.

"Dammit." He muttered under his breath, "What did you do that for! I was so close to getting back my high score." A light bulb went off in her head.

_Tony's favorite...Freedom of Speech_

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><p><strong>AN: Well, what do you think? **

**Should I continue, or should I abandon this? Let me know by clicking the little blue button down below, leave a comment (question or statment) and then collect your virtual cookies and milk. No comment, no cookies. C:**


	2. II, Right To Bear Arms

_The Second Amendment_

_II. A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed._

_Simply put: The right to bear arms._

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><p>Tony, McGee and Ziva sat in the bullpen waiting for Gibbs to come back. Tony leaning back in his comfy office chair, trying to take a quick nap. McGee's hand flew across a half written on page of notebook paper, slowly revealing parts of his story that all came together in the end. Or, maybe the wouldn't come together, maybe he would need a sequal to his sequal.<p>

Ziva stuck her nose in a book. A good one at that. She had never read To Kill A Mockingbird, and she heard it was a good book, so she gave it a shot.

She was lost in Scouts world, opening up a mystery, her eyes finding lies and accusation of the folks of Macomb County.

She learned that Atticus was the finest shot in town, when a -not hard, but shocking enough to seem hard- rubber band ball crumbled the world around her, and pushed her back into reality.

"Tony..." She hissed through her teeth. "I will give you twenty seconds to explain why you threw _this_," she squeezed the rubber band cluster until her knuckles turned white, "At me."

Tony chuckled, obviously not taking her threat seriosuly to any degree, and flashed her his famous DiNozzo grin, streaching his arms wide. "What can I say? Little McGoo won't play with me."

Hurling the colorful ball at McGee, he looked up to see her walk towards Tony's desk, with a look that said, _That did it_.

Pulling her gun out of her holster, she clenched his shirt and stood him up, his face, scrunching up with fear.

The expression protraid on his face when she shoved the SIG to his cheek said that he wasn't too happy about the freedom of a gun.

_Hum..._Ziva thought, _The second amendment, the right to bear arms. I'm really getting the hang of this amendment thing. _She thought with a smile.

She shot Tony a sly little smile, released him, and blew the barrel of her gun.

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><p><em>AN: Okay, so some (Just a little part though) of this might not make sence unless you've read __To Kill A Mockingbird__ (Excelent book by the way) Scout is a little girl, her name is Jean-Louis, but everyone calls her Scout (and to this day, I still don't know why...)_

_**Okay...Well...Thanks...Review...Please...C:**_


	3. III, Soldires Can't Quarter

The Third Amendment

_III. No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be perscribed by law._

_Simply put: Soldiers aren't allowed to stay at your house without permission._

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><p>"I had a buddy in Baltimore, who thought that because he was a cop, he could sleep with anyone he wanted," Tony chuckled, recalling the memory of a decade ago. "And he tried so many different ways that I thought he ran out of ideas."<p>

His mood was light and breezey, and there was glee in his kindled eyes.

He wore a light gray polo shirt, with no jacket, and dark blue jeans, because it was a sunday.

"But of course, claiming to be a cop wouldn't score with anyone. They all just threw a discusted face his way. But, it was okay, because I always caught what slipped out of his hands." Tony finished.

They knocked on the big green door that they approached, and a cute little girl opened the door. She looked over her shoulder and yelled, "Mom," and her mom quickly came to the door.

"Can I help you?"

Tony opened his mouth to speak, but Ziva cut him off before any sound could come out of his mouth. "We are conducting an investigation on Staff Sargent Michael Douglass, and we need to camp out here for a few days, just until we figure out what he's up to."

The lady looked confused, "Nobody by that name has ever been through here. I'm quite involved, and it's a small commuity in a small town. I know everyone's name, and I sure would remember someone in the Navy."

"What my partner meant to say, was that we have a court order telling us to watch from this house. He seemed to stop here for eleven minutes every day as part of his prestine schedual, and we're wondering why." He flipped a piece of paper out from behind his back and flashed a stupid grin.

The lady stepped back and waved a hand out to them while Tony whispered, "You have to have a court order Ziva. If not, you're violating the Bill of Rights," Ziva thought, _the Third Amendment, _then heard Tony repeat, "The Third Amendment, it just so happens to be."

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><p><strong>AN: Well, what do you think? Review please. :)**

**Also, I'm looking for a beta who'd be willing to beta this story, since I know that there are lots of mistakes here. O.o If you're interested, just PM me. :) I don't bite...much :P**


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